Monday, October 25, 2010

Feminism, Femivorism, and Homemaking: Revisited

I wrote a piece recently that was a counter attack to an article I read, The Femivore’s Delima . It was a long and grueling piece and I am afraid that most of the points I wanted to make about homemaking were lost in the length. This is my attempt to summarize why homemaking is a legitimate career and needs to be celebrated.

Do you want a rewarding career and high pay? Don’t read further if you do?

We are seeking a homemaker to work and be on call 24/7, 365 days a year. This woman will be the manager of the home: insuring that the home is clean, the people in the family are well taken care of, and the logistics of the home run smoothly. Often this job entails tasks like shopping, cooking, cleaning, minor (possibly major) first aid, teaching, mending, laundering, gardening, and dealing with bodily fluids (of other people on you). A successful candidate will have proven skills in patience, communication, meeting deadlines, and being able to adjust to new and different situation on a moment-to-moment basis while still accomplishing the day’s regular routine. Potential homemakers should not expect any rewards or acclimates. If income is required the candidate will need to hold down a second job (often a full-time job) while still accomplishing all tasks necessary to be considered successful at homemaking. Lazy, selfish, self-centered people need not apply.

If you would have read this job description before you got married and chose to be a stay-at-home mom would you have made the decision to do it? Wouldn’t you rather work in a corporation where the pay is great, you receive awards for a job well done, and they have casual day only on Fridays? No poop. No goop. And no croup.

Feminists would have you believe that unless you get pay raises and vacations you don’t deserve as much respect as those who do. We even try to argue, “Well, I have a degree so I am as smart as you, I just have a higher calling?” Why do we feel we need to justify ourselves? Isn’t our job just as important?

Why ARE we so undervalued?

Because, we are looking to others to value us! We are valuable. God created each of us for a purpose and with loving hands. If you need to look any further than your own backyard, Dorothy, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

Each homemaker brings her unique personality into homemaking. Some raise chickens and grow organic produce, others shop at the supermarket. Some teach their children, others volunteer at the local school to help the teachers that their tax dollars pay for. Some work in high-rise office buildings, some work from their kitchen tables. Some are liberal, some are conservative. Some are poor, some are rich. Some are Muslim, some are Christian. Regardless of our personal convictions and political preferences, we are the same in one way; we believe we can best serve this world by serving our families first.

Sometimes we discredit ourselves. We say things like, “I am just a stay-at-home mom,” or “I don’t work for a living.” What are we doing?! Why would we discredit ourselves like that? They don’t need any more ammunition, do they?

Our profession is noble and righteous and always has been.

I am not trying to judge those who can’t have this lifestyle. Some times in life, “Crap happens.” We don’t have a choice to be a 2 parent family. We don’t have a choice but to put our kids in a daycare.” And, the only way our home is going to get clean is to hire someone to do it for us because we want to focus on being with our children instead of scrubbing the toilets. I get it and I am not talking about YOU!

I am sick to death of reading articles and seeing talking heads on T.V. telling me to be a complete person I need to have a job, have a degree, and sacrifice the well-being of my family for my own.

If it weren’t for homemakers who would do the laundry? Who would cook dinner? Who would pack lunches? Who would take the kids to the doctor? Who would clean the house? Who would help the kids with their homework? Who would pay the bills? Would do the shopping? Who would volunteer at church? Who would go to PTA meetings? Who would meet with the teachers? Who would be the home school teachers? Who would walk the dog? Who would take the dog to the vet? Who would take the library books back? Who would give the kids a bath? Shall I go on?

Homemakers: Don’t absorb the worldly view that you are less because you choose to serve your family. You are unique and beautiful. Your purpose is true and good. You don’t need to be anything than what you are to be important. Love your husbands and celebrate them for the sacrifice they make for your well-being. Love your children and keep them with you for as long as you can and don’t entrust their lives to the government. Make your homes clean and beautiful with what you have and don’t feel ashamed because your home won’t be published in House Beautiful. Value yourself; don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Know that you don’t walk this life alone. There are millions of women exactly like you, doing exactly what you do every day. We can’t all be wrong

Sunday Morning Stress: A war for your soul.

How many times has our family been under so much stress on Sunday morning that it would have just been easier to call it quits and go back to bed? I’m embarrassed to say: too many to count. Actually, Sunday isn’t the only day that this could occur, but Sunday seems to be particularly bad because we all know that we should be in peaceful, joyful moods on our way to worship the Lord. It seems hypocritical to be yelling at the family minutes before you are to be studying and worshiping God. I think we could add that it is hypocritical to act one way on Sunday and not on every day of the week.

I have been tempted to give up and not go to church at all, hearing that voice in my head that says, “You are a hypocrite, you shouldn’t go to church until you resolve these issues.” I am reminded of Jesus in the wilderness telling Satan, “Get behind me!” I fervently believe that it is Satan’s lies that are trying to keep me from going. There is nothing he wants more than to stop believers from worshiping and learning about the Almighty.

As with any good lie, it is mixed with truth. Am I a hypocrite? Yes. I know very well that I should not lash out in anger. What makes it hypocritical is that I tell my children not to behave like that and throw temper tantrums, but then I go and do it because things aren’t going my way on Sunday morning. The lie is that because I am a hypocrite and a sinner that I somehow don’t deserve God’s word until I stop the behavior. LIE. LIE. LIE. There is never a time I need it more!

And let’s just say it isn’t me who needs it, it is my husband. Well then move out of my way Satan because I need to not be a stumbling block to my husband. I am his helpmeet. Nothing runs smoothly in this family if he is not right with God. He is our spiritual leader.

One of our family’s biggest stumbling blocks on Sunday, or any day, is lack of preparation. We do not function when the house is a mess, clothes aren’t clean and orderly, or when we don’t have enough rest. It can be all or one, but when those things are not running smoothly, Satan sees his opportunity. My husband and I lose our tempers with each other and/or kids and it is all downhill from there. We then hear that voice, “Stay home.” “Go back to bed.” “You are too tired, just miss this one Sunday, it won’t matter.” “Nobody will miss you anyway.” “You should resolve this argument before you go sit in that pew.”

Thankfully, I can say that we haven’t missed one Sunday because of this to my recollection. We go anyway, in our sin, and we sit and listen and receive God’s word. However, the temptation is there and I want to eliminate the temptation and never give myself a chance to fall victim to it.

So how can I neutralize the enemy’s opportunity?

It is simple isn’t it?  
  1. Get the house picked up (clutter is the main issue not a dirty toilet).
  2. Keep the laundry under control and lay out clothes the night before.
  3. Get a good night’s rest.

 Easier said than done, right?

“So tell us guru, how do we solve this issue?” 
  1. Remember that this is a war for your soul and the souls of your family. There is nothing more that Satan wants than to keep you and God separated by sin. On Saturday night it may be nice to stay up late and watch a movie, but it is far more important that you get to church the next morning and are fully awake and rested so that you can receive God’s word with an open fresh mind. This goes for your children as well. Nothing can put an ugly stain on Sunday morning than a whiny, disobedient kid.
  2. Remember during the week that this is a war for your soul and the souls of your family. Keep the laundry going all week long. 1 load a day, 2 loads a day; it will depend on the size of your family. Whatever it takes to have clean laundry hanging in the closet of every person in the house, do it.
  3. Remember every day, but around here especially on the weekends, that it is every person’s job in the family to keep up with the house work. We often like to pretend that moms, working or stay at home, are there to be the maid. That just isn’t so. Mom holds the right to delegate any task at any time to any person in the family because she is the home manager. If dad is the home manager, then he holds the delegation power. “Submit to one another.”
Overall, just remember whatever your issues are on Sunday getting out the door, there is a war on for your soul. You are a participant regardless of whether you are aware of it or not. If you can’t find the motivation to eliminate those issues which keep you from church on Sunday, focus on it being a war, not a war between you and your loved ones, but a war between God and Satan. Whose side are you on?







As a side note: is a great place to start getting your home and life under control. I read a multitude of blogs about homemaking, but this one is very helpful because you can sign up for a daily email reminder that keeps you on task for the day. If I find myself in a funk, I read the email and just do what it says. Someone else does the thinking and planning and sometimes that is just what I need.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Feminism, Femivorism, and Homemaking

After reading this article, I believe the best way to respond to it is point-by-point. You will see my comments in blue. I have written a conclusion to my thoughts at the bottom.

You can read the original article at

The Femivore’s Dilemma
by Peggy Orenstein

Four women I know — none of whom know one another — are building chicken coops in their backyards. It goes without saying that they already raise organic produce: my town, Berkeley, Calif., is the Vatican of locavorism, (Also a haven for liberal feminists) the high church of Alice Waters. (*An American chef, restaurateur, activist, and humanitarian. Nice resume compared to what is coming to describe a traditional homemaker…wait for it.) Kitchen gardens are as much a given here as indoor plumbing. But chickens? That ups the ante. Apparently it is no longer enough to know the name of the farm your eggs came from; now you need to know the name of the actual bird.

All of these gals — these chicks with chicks — are stay-at-home moms, highly educated women who left the work force to care for kith and kin. (She is probably very confused about how someone making a living could long to be at home with her children, caring for her home, and being a helpmate to her husband. I know, it is hard to understand human nature.) I don’t think that’s a coincidence: the omnivore’s dilemma (I have no idea what that means) has provided an unexpected out from the feminist predicament (You mean they aren’t all satisfied with hating men and the women who love them?), a way for women to embrace homemaking without becoming Betty Draper. (There it is…we are compared to a fictional character on a TV show; she couldn’t even find ONE example of a homemaker that represents the essence of the role that is honorable and decent) “Prior to this, I felt like my choices were either to break the glass ceiling or to accept the gilded cage,” says Shannon Hayes (That’s because you have no imagination or creativity and suffer from the need to have your peers accept your life choices, and since they all loathe the traditional homemaking role you are trying to gain their approval by turning homemaking into activism instead of accepting what it really is—a sacrificial act for the betterment of all society.), a grass-fed-livestock farmer in upstate New York and author of “Radical Homemakers,” a manifesto for “tomato-canning feminists,” which was published last month.

Hayes pointed out that the original “problem that had no name” was as much spiritual as economic: a malaise that overtook middle-class housewives trapped in a life of schlepping and shopping. (The actual problem is women buying into the feminist line—what you do isn’t important or admired.) A generation and many lawsuits later, some women found meaning and power through paid employment. (Was it really meaning and power they were looking for or, was it out of necessity? Or, was feminism trying to convince them they shouldn’t be content with their lives as they were?) Others merely found a new source of alienation. (They were alienated from their peers who had all bought into the feminist line.) What to do? The wages of housewifery had not changed — an increased risk of depression (show me the statistics), a niggling purposelessness (repetitive word choice, and why is homemaking and living a simple life without purpose?), economic dependence on your husband (God forbid if we were to depend on someone other than ourselves, we wouldn’t be fully human, and we might have to show appreciation instead of contempt) — only now, bearing them was considered a “choice”: if you felt stuck, it was your own fault. What’s more, though today’s soccer moms (another term invented to avoid being called homemaker or housewife) may argue, quite rightly, that caretaking is undervalued in a society that measures success by a paycheck (caretaking is undervalued by people who have to label others as femivore because they have devalued homemaker and housewife for so long they would seem hypocrites if they were to now change their minds that those roles were, indeed, valuable), their role is made possible by the size of their husband’s. (Again, I say that feminists don’t want to give credit to the men who take care of their families financially, and second, they have no idea what homemaking is all about.) In that way, they’ve been more of a pendulum swing than true game changers. (AH, homemakers don’t get the approval of feminists yet again. DANG. I didn’t know I was being recruited by the feminist movement to change the game, I just thought I was doing what was best for my family.)

Enter the chicken coop.

Femivorism is grounded in the very principles of self-sufficiency, autonomy and personal fulfillment (a.k.a. not playing on the family team, separate from their families, and just plain selfish) that drove women into the work force in the first place (which really aren’t the reasons women went to work in the first place, it was so they could help provide money for the family, simple as that—which by the way is completely honorable). Given how conscious (not to say obsessive) (again devaluing the importance of what even the femivores do, according to her definition) everyone has become about the source of their food — who these days can’t wax poetic about compost? — it also confers instant legitimacy. (Oh yes, because what homemakers were doing before wasn’t legitimate.) Rather than embodying the limits of one movement (in other words, they rejected feminism), femivores expand those of another (gave their own personality to being a homemaker, which is what we all do by the way): feeding their families clean, flavorful food (wouldn’t want to offend the foody feminists); reducing their carbon footprints (wouldn’t want to offend the environmentalist feminists); producing sustainably instead of consuming rampantly (wouldn’t want to offend the communist feminists). What could be more vital, more gratifying, more morally defensible? (Seriously? Why do homemakers have to meet your standards of morality?)

There is even an economic argument for choosing a literal nest egg over a figurative one. Conventional feminist wisdom held that two incomes were necessary to provide a family’s basic needs (No, in fact, it wasn’t conventional feminist wisdom, it was and is still called economics.) — not to mention to guard against job loss, catastrophic illness, divorce or the death of a spouse (trying to scare us into submission to the feminist gods). Femivores suggest that knowing how to feed and clothe yourself regardless of circumstance, to turn paucity into plenty, is an equal — possibly greater — safety net. (Same feminist line, different office.) After all, who is better equipped to weather this economy, the high-earning woman who loses her job or the frugal homemaker who can count her chickens? (The one who is a partner and helpmate to her husband, together facing the hard times, is the one who will survive. It’s why God created man AND woman.)

Hayes would consider my friends’ efforts admirable if transitional. Her goal is larger: a renunciation of consumer culture, a return (or maybe an advance) to a kind of modern preindustrialism in which the home is self-sustaining, the center of labor and livelihood for both sexes. (What was old is new again. What was rejected is embraced.) She interviewed more than a dozen families who were pursuing this way of life. (There are more than 300 million people in America and she interview 24 – 50 of them. Who were the control groups?) They earned an average of $40,000 for a family of four. They canned peaches, stuffed sausages, grew kale, made soap. Some eschewed health insurance, and most home-schooled their kids. That, I suspect, is a little further than most of us are willing to go: it sounds a bit like being Amish (How lovely, now I am no different than a backwards religion in her eyes because I don’t want to buy into a health insurance system that is bankrupting our country and homeschooling my children because I don’t want to send them into the war zone that is our public school system. I am so glad she respects my way of life.), except with a car (no more than one, naturally) (I have two cars, thank you--one is even a gas guzzling truck that I drive daily.) and a green political agenda (no green agenda here).

After talking to Hayes, I rushed to pick up my daughter from school. As I rustled up a quick dinner of whole-wheat quesadillas and frozen organic peas (YUK), I found my thoughts drifting back to our conversation, to the questions she raised about the nature of success, satisfaction, sustenance, fulfillment, community. What constitutes “enough”? What is my obligation to others? What do I want for my child? Is my home the engine of materialism or a refuge from it? (Uh Oh, sounds like you are being infected, better get to a meeting of NOW so that you don’t waver on your feminist beliefs.)

I understand the passion for a life that is made, not bought. And who doesn’t get the appeal of working the land? It’s as integral to this country’s character as, in its own way, Wal-Mart. (OMG, she didn’t! Farming is integral to the human race’s existence, I think we can all go without Wally World if we had to.) My femivore friends may never do more than dabble in backyard farming — keeping a couple of chickens, some rabbits, maybe a beehive or two — but they’re still transforming the definition of homemaker to one that’s more about soil than dirt, fresh air than air freshener. (She doesn’t get that homemaking has never been about an identical job description for every woman who chooses to put on an apron. Each homemaker brings her unique personality to her home.) Their vehicle for children’s enrichment goes well beyond a ride to the next math tutoring session. (Darn tooten.)

I am tempted to call that “precious,” but that word has variegations of meaning. Then again, that may be appropriate. (Oh please don’t call what I do precious. I really don’t need your approval and certainly don’t want to be patronized.) Hayes found that without a larger purpose — activism, teaching, creating a business or otherwise moving outside the home — women’s enthusiasm for the domestic arts eventually flagged (Show me the stats! How did she “find” that our enthusiasm flagged?), especially if their husbands weren’t equally involved. (Here we go again; blame the men.) “If you don’t go into this as a genuinely egalitarian relationship,” she warned, “you’re creating a dangerous situation. There can be loss of self-esteem, loss of soul and an inability to return to the world and get your bearings. (Is she serious? I have lost my SOUL?) You can start to wonder, What’s this all for?” (Certainly NOT for the simple purpose of loving my family.) It was an unnervingly familiar litany: if a woman is not careful, it seems, chicken wire can coop her up as surely as any gilded cage.

Peggy Orenstein, a contributing writer, is the author of “Waiting for Daisy,” a memoir.

I am so thoroughly disgusted with this article that I want to have an article burning, but I won’t waste the paper to print it. Peggy Orenstein is obviously a feminist who can’t understand why her friends are jumping ship. She looked to another feminist, Shannon Hayes, who jumped ship, but didn’t want to throw her support behind the women she loathed her whole life. So instead, she redefined the homemaker and created a new term: femivorism (a little bit feminist, a little bit omnivore, a little bit activist).

Both of these women have not the slightest clue what homemaking is all about. For ages before the 1960's, women were what made the world go round, although they might not have gotten credit for it. They washed, scrubbed, wiped, and scoured behind the scenes so that their families could go out into the world shiny and beautiful. But that doesn’t even scratch the surface. They were farmers, teachers, writers, chefs, politicians, musicians, among many other roles. They balanced work and homemaking with precision. Some of them made homemaking their main career and by doing so saved their families precious dollars that have always been hard to come by. They cared for every family member, making sure that their clothes were clean and mended, their tummies were full of healthy foods, and their minds were full of interesting and useful ideas. They supported their husbands through their work, giving him the needed encouragement to face his often times tedious and grueling work, and helped to give him a peace of mind that came with knowing his family was safe at home with food on the table. They gave each child the love and affection they would need to venture out into the cold cruel world that awaited them, and were there to greet them with loving arms when they returned. They prayed to God every day that their families would return to them, whole and happy. What could be more legitimate than that?

Each homemaker brings her unique personality into homemaking. Some raise chickens and grow organic produce, others shop at the supermarket. Some teach their children, others volunteer at the local school to help the teachers that their tax dollars pay for. Some work in high-rise office buildings, some work from their kitchen tables. Some are liberal, some are conservative. Some are poor, some are rich. Some are Muslim, some are Christian. Regardless of our personal convictions and political preferences, we are the same in one way; we believe we can best serve this world by serving our families first.

Feminism has always made the mistake in their belief that women wanted something more than an “atta girl.” They believed, and wanted homemakers to believe, that their role was somehow diminished because it didn’t come with a paycheck. How very materialistic of them. They could point to women who did work and say, “look at them, they are earning a living and they like it.” When, in point of fact, these women probably would have preferred not to have to walk the tightrope that is a work-home life balancing act. They tricked the American woman into believing that she would feel empowered if she became the superwoman of the 90's—balancing work, kids, husband, home, school, and volunteering. What they got were sore feet, drained energy levels, and still, they were undervalued.

Why ARE we so undervalued? Because we are looking to others to value us! We are valuable. God created each of us for a purpose and with loving hands. If you need to look any further than your own backyard, Dorothy, you are going to be sorely disappointed.

To Ms. Orenstein and Ms. Hayes: Don’t discredit my profession by comparing me to some ridiculous caricatures of what you believe a homemaker to be. My profession is noble and righteous and always has been. I feel sorry for you because you haven’t found the true importance of being a woman and are looking to others to validate your existence. Be a writer or a femivore. Either is fine with me, but don’t try to discredit me because you don’t understand my way of life.

To the homemakers of today: Don’t listen to this tripe. You are unique and beautiful. Your purpose is true and good. You don’t need to be redefined to be important. Love your husbands and celebrate them for the sacrifice they make for your well-being. Love your children and keep them with you for as long as you can and don’t entrust their lives to the government. Make your homes clean and beautiful with what you have and don’t feel ashamed because your home won’t be published in House Beautiful. Value yourself; don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Know that you don’t walk this life alone. There are millions of women exactly like you, doing exactly what you do every day. We can’t all be wrong.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Supermom Syndrome vs. Suzie Q Homemaker

The Supermom Syndrome vs. Suzie Q Homemaker

Too often in life I feel the tug between the Supermom Syndrome and being Suzie Q. Homemaker. I have a strong desire to serve out in the world, but also know that I have a responsibility to fulfill, a responsibility that I choose to dedicate my life too while my children were at home. I am constantly looking for ways to streamline homemaking responsibilities at home so that I can have more time to pursue challenges outside of the home.

I have never been the kind of person that is settled doing the same thing day in and day out without variety, so you can imagine being a stay at home mom has presented a few challenges for me. However, even though this could lead me to sin, I have come to understand that God knows me, loves me, and can use me just as I am. With this revelation, I found that if I wait on the Lord to show me His will He will provide variety in my life.

There is a pitfall to watch out for. Some women want it all, the Supermom Syndrome. They want a good paying job, to be in control of their homes and children, to volunteer in the community, and to have all of these things flourish under their stewardship. Wouldn’t that be nice?

It really bothered me once to read a magazine article about this very woman. Her home was perfect, they wrote only glowingly about the kids and her relationship with her husband, and followed it up with all the volunteering she did while still balancing a full time six figure job. YEAH RIGHT! What a load of fluff. I know no one like that, and those that I know who even come close to that have an eminence amount of help from paid staff. They might as well have put her in a swimsuit and told us they touched up the photos. We must not compare ourselves to these fictional characters who help to sell magazines.

But we do compare ourselves to this fantasy created by magazine editors! We set unrealistic expectation of ourselves based on what the world says a woman should be or could be if she just put her mind to it.

It is important to remember that there are only so many hours in a day. If you aren’t careful about how much time you devote to things outside of your main ministry of being a mother and wife, if you don’t set expectations to those you answer to about your commitment to your family, and if you don’t set reasonable limitations for yourself, you could find yourself in a serious situation where you feel overwhelmed and underappreciated. You may find yourself feeling guilty and resentful of not only commitments and people outside of your home, but of those people and responsibilities inside the home as well.

I have read other blogs and self-help books that say I should be content to just be a wife and mother. I read a blog recently that gave another unrealistic point of view about being completely content and focusing only on your role as a wife and mother. The writer believes that church is a serious hindrance to these responsibilities. She used an example of a woman who was feeling an extreme amount of stress over her responsibilities in a ministry and felt like she was being pulled away from her role as a wife and mother. The solution the writer gave was to give it all up! We are to do the Lord’s work and my children need to see me working, giving, and worshiping in the church. If they don’t see a good example of this, they will not do it as adults. Eventually, there will be no one left in the church to serve or to worship. Taking oneself out of service to the church is avoiding the real problem: an unrealistic view of motherhood.

A more realistic response to this woman would have been to give her some tools on how to relieve the stress and pressure of this demanding ministry so that she didn’t have to give it up while still balancing her responsibilities at home. A lesson on time management or delegation might have been useful for her home and her ministry. A lesson on how to deal with demanding people in the church (and at home) might have saved her from the emotional warfare people tend to wage on us. There are several reasonable solutions that could help her to become a more proficient leader and homemaker, but instead the writer decided to tell her to give it all up and stay at home. Give me a break! “We’ve come a long way Baby.” NOT.

I feel like God opened these doors for a reason. He promises never to give me a test that I can’t pass. Of course I need to be thoughtful and prayerful when I take on new responsibilities, but why is it that I must stay in my home and be content with cleaning every square inch of my house? Why can’t I serve? Yes, raising my children to love God is top priority. What about some practical experience?

Every person needs to know their limits and be realistic about their schedule. It is ok to say no. It is also ok to say yes. My schedule may send some people running, and others would say, “That’s all you do?” Every person needs to take the time to prioritize their life, set realistic expectation, and then adjust the schedule accordingly. You may also need to learn some new skills or fine tune some old ones.

I have had to make adjustments to my schedule from time to time. Recently, I noted that I wasn’t really spending enough one-on -one time with my 4 year old son. He was spending the day with me, but I wasn’t giving him direct attention. I adjusted our routine a little and started making sure I spent that important time with him. It wasn’t anything to feel guilty about or to beat myself up about. It was just something I needed to adjust.

I also was just reminded by my husband that I was letting the house go a bit. Without telling you about the temper tantrum I threw because of the lack of help I get form him and the kids, because that would be too embarrassing for me, I will just tell you I sat down and came up with a new chore schedule and posted it around the house.

Does the stress ever get to me? Absolutely, but learning to deal with that stress in an effective way is preparing me for something.

Call me an over achiever if you must, but I just don’t want to miss out on all the great things God has to offer. I want to teach my children that there is more to life than what is going on in our home. How will they learn to be servers and stewards if we don’t get out in the world and serve? No, I am no superwoman nor do I want to be. I just want to serve God with my family and make the most out of this precious life he has given me. No, I am no Suzie Q. Homemaker either. I want to provide a warm loving home where God comes first and everyone knows they are loved. We can accomplish this regardless of how much time we spend in the home.

What do you do when you do find yourself in a situation where you have too much on your plate? I don’t believe that God will want me to drop my commitments in His name. I try to work on a plan that allows me to handle my responsibilities until I find the appropriate time to hand some of it off. There is an appropriate time to resign and that is at the end of a term not in the middle after just accepting or committing one’s self.

There are few items on my plate that are ongoing and not negotiable. My responsibilities as a wife, mother, and homemaker are non-negotiable. However, homemaking can be shared with everyone in the family. What homemakers need to remember is they aren’t in this life alone. They have been given husbands, children, family and friends to walk through life with. If Mom is feeling overwhelmed, it is up to the family to work through this with her, not leave her to fend for herself.